i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
