So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
