Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
