I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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