can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
