On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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