He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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