Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
