you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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