my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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