pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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