There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
