it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Randomize
