who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
