I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
