So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Say something about gay babies.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
