Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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