I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
