he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
