Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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