Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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