As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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