I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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