I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
