the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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