its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
