Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
