what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
