Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
