So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I could fuck to npr.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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