party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
