So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
