So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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