Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize