Barsexuality is the new black.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize