I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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