dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
COCAINE IS GR8
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
