Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
