Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
