not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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