I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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