oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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