My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
