I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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