There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
