That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
