to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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