the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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