She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
