Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Randomize
