and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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