were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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