I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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