"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The uberlube is also flammable
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
