I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
