i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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