You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
