Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
