Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
