the day after is always just damage control
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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