Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
