Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
