i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And my parents said I crawled through the house
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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